PREPARATION
I heard once that 70-80% of what we process is visual, so take the time to prepare before a date.
Personal Hygiene is of the upmost importance. First impressions matter so take the time to have a shower, wash your hair and brush your teeth.
Gentlemen – Wear deodorant, have a shave and wear aftershave/cologne if you have it. If you’ve been thinking about getting a haircut then it’s time to get one before you go on a date. Check to see if you have any protruding nose hairs or ear hairs and give them a trip or pluck. Cut your finger nails. If you work in a trade, make sure your hands are scrubbed clean. Wear clothes you feel comfortable in, if you don’t wear suits then don’t give the impression to your date that you do by wearing one. Put a little extra effort in like wearing a shirt with your jeans if you normally wear t-shirts but just be yourself.
Ladies - Wear deodorant and perfume if you have it, you don’t need to overdo it just a few sprays is enough. Put on some makeup, don’t make yourself look like a drag queen just enough to accentuate your features. If you don’t typically wear makeup then make sure you moisturise so your skin is clean and fresh. Wear clothes you feel comfortable in. There is nothing wrong with ‘accentuating your assets’ but don’t go overboard and look easy. Remember classy and feminine is always a good look and leave something up to their imagination!
Prepare a few topics of conversation to get the date started.
THE DATE
Be punctual. If you are like me and always running few minutes late, aim to get there 15 minutes earlier. There is nothing worse than waiting thinking a date may be a ‘no show’.
Gentlemen, chivalry is not dead, try to incorporate a few nice gentlemanly gestures into your date like opening the door for your date, pulling out her chair, asking her what she would like to eat/drink first before you order, pouring the wine, walking her back to her car to make sure she gets home safely…
Paying for the date is always a contentious issue. Some feel in this day and age it should be 50/50 split. However, call me old fashioned but I still believe it is nice for the gentlemen to pay for the first date. It’s a nice gesture and shows that you are generous. Also leave a tip; you don’t want your date to think you are a ‘tight arse’.
At the end of the date it is nice to give your date an indication of how you’re feeling without being too forward.
If you want to see them again try something like ‘I had a great time [insert name], I’d really like to see you again sometime if you would?’
If you really don’t want to see them again then you need to give them some closure why not try ‘Thanks for the date [insert name], you’re a great person but to be honest with you I just don’t think we have enough in common. I do wish you all the best’.
Whatever you do, don’t say you will call unless you’re going to. It’s a cop out to leave someone hanging around expecting your call when you have no intention of calling. Be kind; remember dating Karma will come back to you.
THE FOLLOW UP
You will hear people talk about these silly dating rules like don’t call for three days or they’ll think your too keen.
It’s rubbish, you should call when you feel ready. I wouldn’t go calling them the second you get home but if you had a great date then follow up a day or two later with a call, don’t leave them hanging. If you leave it too long they’ll think you’re not interested and you may miss out!
If when you call they say they’re too busy and your finding it difficult to organise a time, it’s best to throw the ball in their court. Just say something like ‘How about I give you my number and you can give me call when you’re free to catch up?’. They may really be busy but the may also have lost interest. If they don’t call you within a week or so then it’s time to move on!